30 Random Things…

I found an old getting-to-know-you list of 30 random things in my Facebook memories from 2013.  I decided to re-do the list (making a lot of changes) and share it here.

1superglue tooth eye.  I once super-glued my tooth to my eye. (See story here.)

2.  I made a new year’s resolution in 2011 to stop drinking sodas. I went for an entire year without consuming a soda and have had about a dozen in the last five years.

3.  When I was six-years-old, I ran my parents car into a bank in a small town in Arkansas while playing Batman and Robin with my brother.  (I was Batman!)

4.  I have never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy. My mother, when she was a child, stopped believing in God when she realized there was no Santa Claus. In an attempt to prevent my brother and me from jumping to the same conclusion, she decided to go with the truth before we had ever developed a belief or understanding of St. Nick.

1008-chocula5.  As a child, I was terrified of both Count Dracula and Count Chocula™ – the latter simply being the animated version of Dracula. At night I thought that when I flushed the toilet, he would rise with the swirl and kill me. (So I didn’t flush.)

6.  I have only had three prescription medications prescribed to me in my adult life.  One was an antibiotic for a case of bronchitis in my early 30s, another round of antibiotics for an abscessed tooth at 46 and the third was Tagament, prescribed to me for an ulcer I developed in my early 20s which hasn’t given me problems since i exhausted the initial prescription.

7.  I once pooped in my wallet … but it was an accident … and a long story. (I need to remember to write it one day.)

8.  I went through a song-writing phase in my 20s. I wrote about 70 songs … most of which were really bad and too embarrassing to attempt to recall.

9.  I’m very noticeably knock-kneed, which has always caused me to walk a little funny (according to old school mates) and causes my feet to point outward whether standing or walking.

10.  I have not owned a car since 2009. My primary mode of transportation is a bicycle.

11.  My favorite music genres are big band/swing, ragtime, and folk.

12img_20170130_045636. My very first crush, going back to the age of five, was the recently departed Mary Tyler Moore.

13.  I don’t get the emotions that flowers bring out in people.  If someone were to romance me, they’d be better off sending me a bouquet of books. (I recently wrote a philosophical piece entitled, “If I Were a Flower,” which was intended to draw an analogy of what it’s like to be a creative type in the 21st century. I don’t think many people got it. You can read it here.)

14.  I hate to shop and would rather find a wanted/needed item at a thrift store or garage sale than to contribute to the wealth of corporations.

15.  I am not too proud to carry a usable, found object home from somebody’s curbside trash … and have done so on numerous occasions.

16.  I am not afraid of crickets, june bugs, grasshoppers, worms etc., but a spider will make me squeal and throw things until it has met his (or her) maker, and always leaves me feeling guilty for having taken a life.  A snake would probably give me a heart attack.

17.  Both my mother and my companion of eight years were named Constance.  Both went by “Connie.”  Both died when they were 52-years-old.

18.  I once tried to out-run the “flesh-eating virus” (as it was commonly called in the 90s) and had an extreme week-long panic attack regarding the flesh-destroying infection.  I didn’t have it … I was simply afraid that I was going to catch it! (Another story I need to write!)

19.  My favorite meal as a child was macaroni and cheese, hotdogs and applesauce. (I have since outgrown that combination.)

206a794266c1c8b34be97c39b864e6cc99.  I used to think Milk Bone dog biscuits were tasty treats and would also occasionally snack on dry dog food as one would eat chips. I outgrew my dog food eating habit at about the age of eight.

21.  My awkwardness in social settings and with most individuals also carries over into romance.  Romantic customs, such as  flirting, have never come naturally to me and the other party is probably always left wondering if I’m from another planet. (See my recent story, “Talk Dirty to Me” for a prime example – here.)

22.  I was a Y2K prepper. (Yes, I’m embarrassed about this now.)

23.  I have been single for over 21 years of my 30-year adult life. Don’t ask me why though. I have so many theories that it would take all day to go through the list … and most of them aren’t complimentary.

24. I still own a VCR and have never upgraded to DVD. I also didn’t own a CD player until about 2005. I was perfectly content with records and tapes. (I protest forced upgrades.)

25.  I don’t own a cell phone and regard them as magic. I have had a couple of no-frills “disposable” pay-as-you-go cells in the past, but I only used them during long-distance moves and until my landline was installed in my new residence.

26img_20170130_044538. As a protest to change I stopped buying peanut butter for years throughout the late 80s and much of the 90s. At some point in the late 80s they stopped selling the peanutty spread in glass jars. To my way of thinking, peanut butter should always come in glass jars … so I stopped buying it. (Now I buy Laura Scudders … which is sold in glass jars.)

27.  I was practically a teenager when I realized that Muppets weren’t real. I knew they weren’t animals but I thought they were their own species of living things.

28.  I am constantly plagued with self-doubt and have an [possibly irrational] extreme fear of humiliation and rejection. (Which is one of my theories for #23.)

29. With the exception of the hokey pokey and the my-bladder-is-about-to-erupt dances, I can’t dance. I have no rhythm whatsoever! (Except for when I have to pee.)

30img_20170130_044911.  I never had an imaginary friend. Instead I had an imaginary disembodied head guardian angel which took the form of my mother’s Styrofoam head wig display. I thought it came to life when nobody was paying attention or when everyone was asleep. (I called her “Wig Head”.)